hang a shining star upon the highest bough

[intheruins]

The practice seems wasteful to Serena in two ways. The first being that she lives out in the country where next to nobody lives or will see the lights, the second being that where she's from, electricity was a luxury and anyone who used it for such frivolity would be considered absurd.

Of course, Darrow is known for its absurdity and it seems like Christmas lights are just par for the course during the modern Christmas. The lights themselves barely use up any electricity, anyway, and when Serena sees the way that George responds to the decorations on the trees and the twinkling of the gold, red and green, she can't help but take matters into her own hands.

It's a simple string of lights in traditional colors and she waits until George is down for his nap to get started, winding the bulbs around the supporting beams of their cabin. In the daylight it looks perfectly ordinary and she's sure from a distance the light wouldn't even be visible, so tonight she'll show her son what she's created. She hopes the formation of new traditions will help to take away the ache of the old.

Comments

[bloodycrescents]

I'm walking Elvis past the house where Serena and her son live when I spot her putting up the lights. It doesn't look like much yet, but I imagine it'll be pretty all lit up when the night comes. Idly I wonder if Effy would like that, the house covered in lights for the holidays. Maybe I'll do it, surprise her, while she's off at work some day this week.

For now, though, I just head towards Serena. It's a lot for one person to do alone, I figure. "Hey," I call out, "you need a hand with that?"

[intheruins]

"I'm not sure," Serena says, turning back to look at Harley. They cross paths often but don't always exchange words, which seems fine by the two of them. It's a big part of the appeal of living in the country. Being neighborly seems optional. "I can't tell whether it looks symmetrical from up here."

[bloodycrescents]

I take another step back and survey the house and the lights hanging from it. It's pretty impressive she's managed to get them up all by herself as it is, never mind neatly.

"It's a little low over here," I say, pointing to the left of her. "But other than that, it's looking good."

[intheruins]

"Thank you," Serena says, smiling faintly. She knows that George is too young to really care what it looks like beyond that he likes the glowing, flickering lights, but it means something to her to make it look decent. Good. She was raised to always do her best, even when she felt her worst. And right now, she feels pretty all right. "Are you and your... are you doing much for the holidays?"

[bloodycrescents]

I shake my head, a smile creeping onto my face. Even after a couple months with Effy back in my life, it's instinctive. Fuck, I'd missed her.

"No, just staying home," I tell her. "We've got a tree, though. That's about it." I never bothered with the tree when I was on my own. It seemed ridiculous to do it just for myself.

[intheruins]

Serena's never met the woman Harley seems so fond of in person, only ever seen her coming and going from the house they apparently share together. The two might have waved once or twice from a distance, but never spoken to one another.

Again, it suits Serena just fine, part of the reason she'd been so anxious to move out here. The forced socialization and expectations of the city, well, she hadn't been ready for them. Not when she'd just lost her husband and gained a son. Social niceties aren't something she's incapable of but she'll always prefer the quiet and the familiar.

"I think a tree and good company are all Christmas needs," she says. "I only... well, I thought George might like the lights."

[bloodycrescents]

I nod, understanding. It didn't occur to me before she mentioned it, that a kid might like to see lights on the house, but she's right. We never did that kind of thing back home, and I don't know what I'd have thought if I ever came home to the sight of the house all lit up, but it's nice. Her little boy ought to have that, a house that glows in the darkness and a mother who'd do that for him.

"I bet he'll love it," I tell her, sincere. "Heck, they like anything shiny at that age, don't they? Like little magpies."

[intheruins]

"Something like that," Serena says, though from what she knows about the birds it's probably true. She's bought George all manner of toys that he's either too young to play with or has no interest with, it seems like he's more interested in whatever's lying around the house. Fellow mothers at the store have told her that it's something all babies and young children do, but Serena likes to think that she's been gifted with a son who's of simple tastes after being conceived in a comparatively simple place. "I'm told once he starts walking I'll spend my whole life chasing him, so I'll savour the simplicity while I can."

[bloodycrescents]

I laugh and nod. "Yeah, once my sisters started walking, the house was pure havoc," I tell her. I barely remember a time when Amber couldn't toddle after me, but Misty and Jody used to get into everything. It drove us all crazy then. Now, God, I miss Jody. I miss a time when Misty was easily subdued with whatever she found laying around. "But that was four of us, so George ought to be less of a handful."

[intheruins]

"Well, he's certain to be an only child," Serena says. She and Pemberton had wanted more children and a big part of it was that Serena had wanted to make up for the family she'd lost. Here, though, she has no partner and she's not sure she'd ever allow herself to. There's still a ring on her finger. She and her husband didn't wilfully separate. "You had three sisters?"

[bloodycrescents]

I nod. "Jody, Misty, and Amber," I tell her, and, for a moment, it feels like it's coming from someone else, a distance away, not from me. There are times it seems to me like I must always have been here. Things are so different, home seems like another life entirely. I don't feel like that boy anymore, struggling just to keep my head above water without my parents. "All younger."

[intheruins]

"My siblings were all younger, too," Serena says, the past tense more easy than it should be. "Boys and girls, though."

She wonders often if there would have been more children if they'd survived the fire, whether her mother might have even been pregnant when she perished. It's an awful thought but one that nags at her often, the way that guilt always does.

"Being the eldest brings about a lot of responsibility."