life is not a highway strewn with flowers, still, it holds a goodly share of bliss

[intheruins]

Things are far from perfect but they're starting to come together. Serena's had help with the plumbing and the electricity and moving in some of the heavy furniture. She's done a lot on her own, too, grateful that she's healed from her delivery and learning what life is like when she always has a baby in her arms. She knows it will be harder to get help by way of nannies and babysitters out in the country but decides it's worth the trade. Here, they have a piece of home. Here, they can almost escape.

To the way things were and never will be again, a fact that sometimes catches Serena off guard as she remembers it. In those moments she forces herself to look at her son and remember that he's what she's always wanted, and she has him. If she'd arrived on her own entirely, who knows what she might have done. Most of her life has been spent without a family. That's not something she ever wants to return to.

So she accepts the reality that her life with Pemberton is over. She'll always him in George, something that can ache in both good ways and bad. She accepts this strange new future where women dress as they please and people use electricity like a birthright instead of a blessing. She wakes up each morning and decides to keep living, even if this isn't the life she planned. 

George is fussing one morning when Serena's been trying to put up some cheap curtains she'd bought at a thrift store, so she decides to take him out for a walk. The terrain is too uneven for any kind of pram so she carries him instead, pointing out trees and clouds in the sky overhead. If she turns to the right direction she can almost believe that she's back in the mountains of North Carolina, tall trees stretching further than she could ever climb. 

She wonders if the people who live here have any idea how much they'd be worth back on her camp, or how many workers would be put at risk to cut it down.

Wondering catches her off guard and she's surprised to see a dog ahead, no owner in sight. She hesitates for a moment in concern for her son. Back home, they'd had panthers to worry about but there had been rabies, too. She walks a little closer, lifting George so that her grasp is more secure. There's no foam at his mouth. And, as she looks to inspect, she sees he's wearing a collar. Chances are he's not a stray.

Comments

[bloodycrescents]

I don't really walk Elvis as such. We never bother with a leash and I don't follow closely behind or lead him along. He wanders and I wander; often, we wander in the same direction. He's always been pretty well-behaved, too nervous to stray too far on his own anyway. I've never had trouble with him not coming home on his own just fine when he does wander off.

I assume the same will be true today. I've got a sketchbook and pencils in a bag and I'm making way over the grass some distance behind, and I don't notice the woman and child until Elvis is getting right up to her, tail wagging hopefully.

"Sorry," I call out, picking up speed as I walk toward them. "He's completely harmless. Just likes attention."

[intheruins]

On the camp, there had been plenty of dogs. Companions to the workers more than anything, most of them thin from eating little other than scraps. They'd wander by the house with desperate looks on their faces, somehow knowing the promise of food was greater in the Pemberton's home than any other.

At the sight of this dog and his hopeful tail wag, Serena almost feels guilty for the lack of compassion she'd had toward them then. She cared about animals, of course, her horse and her eagle, but she hadn't ever been in the spirit of giving in to the needy. She'd gotten where she was without help, after all.

In Darrow, she's changed some. Maybe because she wouldn't be here without help. Crouching down, carefully keeping George against her breast though he struggles to get a look at the dog, she offers her hand to sniff. She can remember the man – he'd been drawing, or maybe painting, in the park that cloudy day. "I think we can understand that," she says.

[bloodycrescents]

Elvis sniffs and then nuzzles eagerly at her hand, happy for the soft touch, the bit of kindness. It's been a long time, but sometimes I think he remembers it wasn't always like this. People weren't always so soft with him.

Coming closer to the three of them, my attention shifts to the woman and her child. I know her now, looking at the golden curls, hearing that voice. She was in the park on my birthday — some time ago, but she shielded me with her umbrella while I put away my supplies, an act of kindness I haven't forgotten. People weren't always so soft with me either.

"Hey," I say, smiling a little. "We've met, haven't we? I'm Harley."

[intheruins]

Serena pets the dog as best she can with George in her arms, unable to stop her mouth from curving upward and into a smile. They mightn't speak the same language but animals have always been much easier for her to understand than humans.

They'd been there when no one else was, after all.

Standing upright, she nods at Harley's question. It wasn't all that long ago but so much has changed. George has gotten so much bigger since then, and now they have their home again. "Serena Pemberton," she answers, adjusting George so he can face their neighbor. "And this is George. Our property's just a short walk from here."

[bloodycrescents]

"Serena," I echo, nodding. Again I catch myself thinking she's someone I'd like to paint, and the thought just renders more vivid the memory of when we first met. I'd been struck by her then as I am now. There's a fierce feeling in her eyes I'd like to capture and probably never could. "It's nice to meet you again. And you, too, George."

He's a cute kid, tiny as he is. I guess they're always cute at that age, so long as you don't have to deal with their messes and crying. I bet even the best of parents get tired of that real quick.

"This here is Elvis. We're just back that way. You just move in?"

[intheruins]

"A month or so ago," Serena says. It's hard to remember the exact date, the past few weeks as much a blur as the first when she'd arrived in Darrow. As much of a blessing as the house has been, it's also involved a lot of work and a lot of her energy. As soon as she can turn into the keys to her apartment in the city, she thinks she'll be able to breathe again.

"It's been a process," she clarifies, bouncing George a little as he starts to make little noises with his mouth. She knows all of this would have been easier without him at her side, but that would have been beside the point. There wouldn't have been any purpose. Her home wouldn't have been a home, just a hollow shell of what she'd left behind. She wouldn't have had reason to survive. "We received our home from our life before all this, all the way out here. I've been trying to update it to Darrow standards."

[bloodycrescents]

"Wow," I say, nodding, "that's great, that you have your home." I'm glad that it never happened to me, but I'm not most people. Her home, I imagine, is full of good memories, things that make her comfortable, happy to be there. My house never had that, not the one I grew up in. It's this house here, my home in Darrow, that has those, memories of life with Effy and Carla Jean, of family and the girl I love. Sometimes they're memories that have hurt, but I'd rather that than not have them at all.

"Sounds like a lot of work."

[intheruins]

"We're very fortunate," Serena agrees. She'd had mixed reactions to the news, most of her newfound friends and acquaintances happy for her while others seemed envious. She's used to envy in her life, though, and she does her best not to let it diminish her joy.

After all, there's enough sadness in being here and away from the person she loves.

"And even more fortunate that we've had plenty of help with it," she adds. She doesn't want to come across as if she's some damsel in distress. She's been vulnerable too many times already since arriving and needing Beth to save her life. Another person to feel sorry for her isn't something she's looking for. "Is it just you and your dog where you live?"

[bloodycrescents]

I nod. For a little while there, I had company, but those days are over. I tell myself it's better this way, that I'm meant to be alone. I feel safer like this, away from my sisters. If that makes me a bad person, I can't help it. I still wouldn't say as much aloud.

"That's good, I'm glad you've had help," I tell her. "It is, yeah, just me and Elvis here. Had a roommate for a while, but she vanished a few months ago."

[intheruins]

"I'm sorry," Serena says, frowning. "Losing someone you care for is never easy."

Loss has been a defining factor in her life, something she's had to grow from or at least in spite of. She's sure she wouldn't be the woman she is now if not for the loss of her family but she's even more sure that it had to break her to begin with. Now she's coming to terms with a new kind of loss, the loss of her husband not to death or divorce but instead to Darrow's unique kind of magic and mystery. "Of course, it seems to be more common here than anywhere else I've ever been."